Necessity may be the Mother of Invention, but Surplus is it's Father.

My mother taught me plenty of good things:  Be nice to people, always try your best, and don't take candy (or possibly Roofied drinks) from strangers.

My father taught me plenty of good things too:  Don't Panic (and carry a towel), TANSTAAFL, and non-interference is the prime directive.

Okay, I learned those things from Science Fiction, but my dad introduced me to Science Fiction, so it counts.

I guess what I'm saying is, at least for me, moms teach us to be good.  Dads teach us to be good at being ridiculous. And I mean ridiculous in the best way possible.  I mean ridiculous in terms of trying new things, being okay with failing, and making the most out of unexpected situations.

Up to this point, I have been cooking out of necessity.  I Googled the growing season for San Francisco, where the locavore movement originated, and learned it is more or less "year round," depending on what you are growing.  Do the same search for WI, and the growing season is approximately 175 days.  That's less than half of the year, people!  And, while it's been 90 degrees here the past few days, the pickings have still been slim.  I have been cooking with whatever I can get my hands on, creating my menu out of what I have, and the necessity of eating something and feeding my husband.

However, I am starting to get some very odd surpluses.  Rhubarb, which you have seen and which is very easily frozen for future use.  Also lettuce, which is not easily saved for future use, and which I've been trying to eat in salads - unfortunately not much else for salads is available yet.  And, since the days are getting hotter, the lettuce is getting bitter much faster than I can eat all of it.  Finally, sour cream and cottage cheese.  I recently started getting Oberweis delivery of my dairy products, and I have to fix the order every Monday night if I don't want something.  I haven't totally gotten the hang of what I need to get yet, or remembering to fix my "standing order" for the items I don't need, so I had three 1-pound containers of both cottage cheese and sour cream - three containers of each kind!  I like dairy, but that's a lot!

That is a lot of lettuce...

So, it's time to stop being "good," and start being ridiculous. Also, hopefully, through being ridiculous I can find ways to save some of this surplus for future use.  I remember a trivia question I heard once:

What is the only vegetable that cannot be preserved?

Answer: Lettuce.  Not a a good sign...

Today was the fourth of July, and that means our annual party at the Ward's house.  Bring a side dish to pass.  I am generally in charge of a salad, but I thought I would use up some of my surplus as well:

Kohlrabi Salad

So pretty... I think it kind of looks like fireworks!

One thing I hate about salad recipes specifically is that all vegetables are different sizes.  I could easily write "two kohlrabi bulbs" but what size bulb?  One bulb could easily yield anywhere from less than one to three cups or more.  And if I say "four servings," what does that mean?  Is it four full size servings?  Or for side dish servings?  So, for this recipe, I am using parts.  Figure out how much you want, and start with the kohlrabi.  Your final product will be four times bigger than how much kohlrabi you start with.  If you like something more, add more of it.  If you don't like an ingredient, or can't find it, substitute something else or omit it entirely.  This recipe is very flexible - I just made it up based on what I have.  I used two medium sized kohlrabi bulbs and this full recipe made enough to fill a 1/2 gallon container. 

• 2 parts kohlrabi (L)
• 1 part cucumber (L)
• 1/2 part radishes (L)
• 1/2 part carrots (L)

• Crumbled Feta Cheese, to taste (L)

Dressing:

• 1 tbsp garlic skapes (the green shoot of a garlic plant in spring.  If you have not tried these, get to the farmer's market now!) (L)
• 1 tbsp salt
• 1 tbsp fresh ground fennel seeds
• 1 tbsp fresh ground pepper
• 1 tsp minced hot Thai pepper (L*)
• 1 tbsp Oregano (L*)
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 2 tbsp rice wine vinigar
• 2 tbsp sesame oil

Julianne vegetables and combine.

For dressing, combine first seven ingredients.  While whisking vigorously, slowly pour in the vinegar and sesame oil. Pour enough dressing on salad to lightly coat the vegetables, and stir to combine.  Do not add so much that the salad becomes soggy or greasy.  You likely will have some dressing left over for a future use.

Crumble feta cheese over salad, and serve cold.


Cottage Cheese Cupcakes with Sour Cream Frosting


Makes almost 4 dozen cupcakes:

• 4 2/3 cups flour (L)
  1 1/2 cups sugar
• 2 tbsp baking powder
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 4 eggs (L)
• 1/2 cup sunflower or vegetable oil
• 2 1/2 cups milk (L)
• 1 cup cottage cheese (L)
• 4 cups fruit, such as rhubarb, strawberries, raspberries, etc (I used a combo of all 3 (L*)

If you are using rhubarb, you will want to cook it slightly first, to get the water out.  The 4 cups of fruit should be total, after the rhubarb is cooked.  I used 2 cups rhubarb, 1 cup strawberries, and one cup raspberries.  In order to get two cups of cooked rhubarb, I placed 6 cups raw rhubarb, 2 tbsp honey, and a splash of vodka into a large stock pot.  Cook over low heat until the rhubarb has released most of its liquid, about 5 minutes.  The point is not to cook the rhubarb until it falls apart, just to get most of the water out.  Drain the rhubarb and, if desired, save the liquid for a future use (it's great mixed with lemonade as a drink!)

Preheat oven to 350, and line a muffin pan with cupcake liners.

In a large bowl (preferably a stand mixer) combine eggs, oil, milk, and cottage cheese, and beat until smooth.  Add dry ingredients, and mix until just combined.  Add fruit, and stir gently.  Scoop batter into prepared cupcake liners, and bake at 350 for 20 minutes.  Allow to cool thoroughly before frosting.

Sour Cream Frosting:

8 tbsp butter, softened (L)
2 cups sour cream (L)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp almond extract
1 tsp lemon juice
1/2 tsp salt
5 1/2 cups confectioner's (powdered) sugar

In a large bowl (preferring a stand mixer), beat together all ingredients except sugar.  Add sugar, and beat with an electric mixer until smooth.

Top cooled cupcakes with frosting.

Strawberry Rhubarb Ice Cream

I have an over productive rhubarb plant.

You may have noticed by the abundance of recipes featuring rhubarb such as this one, and this one.  I don't know for sure, but I would guess I have about 20 cups of rhubarb in my freezer right now.  I'm not complaining, mind you.  It freezes well, and it's always a nice treat in the middle of winter.

I had intended to make a pie.  I kept planning to make a pie "that night," and then something would come up.  It doesn't take a lot to distract me from making a pie, though.  I fear pie.  Too much can, and usually does, go wrong.  I've gotten a lot better over the past year or so, but there was a long string of pies that came out wrong.  Really, really wrong.  It's a crust problem.  The crust is either too thick and stays raw, or too thin and gets soggy.  Sometimes it all breaks off of the edges.  Once all the top crust sunk to the bottom of the pie.  I'm not sure exactly how this happened, as it was a fruit pie and it seems impossible that the crust would travel THROUGH the fruit to get to the bottom.  Perhaps there was a tiny wormhole in my oven.

Anyway, I'm a little tentative, and I've gotten really good at coming up with reasons why I can't make a pie.

The thing that prevented me from making the pie most recently was ice cream.  Specifically, we didn't have any!  And what's the point of rhubarb pie without vanilla ice cream?

Ice cream, at least the way I make it, takes about three days, so this was a very good stall technique.  I was personally quite proud of myself.

So I started making the ice cream.  Cooking of non-dinner items always gets the husband's attention:

Husband: What'cha making?
Me: Ice Cream.
Husband: Strawberry Ice Cream?

I paused.  We don't have an abundance of strawberries, but I have been picking about a cup or two a day.  Plus, I don't really like strawberry ice cream.  I mean, I'm not opposed to it, I just wouldn't ever pick it.  It seems dull to me, and I associate it with a fake strawberry flavor.  PLUS, I don't know if I want to admit to my master plan of making a pie.   The husband likes pie, and, as mentioned above, I don't make them very often...

Me: I wasn't planning on making strawberry ice cream.  Do you want strawberry ice cream?
Husband: It's my favorite.

I take the plunge.

Me: I was planning on making vanilla ice cream, and then making a rhubarb pie.  But I can make strawberry ice cream instead if you want.
Husband: Either sounds good.

HA!  Now I don't have to make a pie!!  YAY!!!!

I ended up not having quite enough strawberries to make strawberry ice cream, so I decided instead to make strawberry rhubarb ice cream.  It is SO good.  Not at all fake tasting (why would it be?  I didn't use anything fake) and not too sweet.  I may have to re-evaluate my stance on fruit ice cream.  I guess there are desserts that aren't chocolate that have value...

If you have lots and lots of free time, and don't fear pie crust the way I do, I think this would make an amazing ice-cream pie.  Just bake out a pie crust and fill it with the ice cream.  If anyone (mom) wants to make me an empty pie crust, I will make more and turn it into a pie!  In fact, I bet it would be good with a gram cracker crust too...


Strawberry Rhubarb Ice Cream:
Total Time: about 1 to 3
Active time: 30 minutes

• Two Cups Strawberries (L*)
• 2 Cups Rhubarb, sliced into about 1/4 inch pieces (L*) (make sure they're not too big or they get weird when frozen)
• 1/3 C + 4 tbsp honey (L)
• Splash vodka
• 1 cup heavy cream (L)
• 1 cup half and half (L)
• 4 large egg yolks (L)
• Pinch salt

Hull strawberries and slice in half.  Place in a medium bowl and mash with a fork or a potato masher.  I like chunks in my ice cream, but if you don't you could also use a food processor.  Mix with 2 tbsp honey and allow to sit for about 1 hour.

Place rhubarb into a medium sauce pan with 2 tbsp honey and a splash of vodka.  Cook on low for about an hour, until rhubarb is well broken down.  Again, if you want no chunks, you could put it into the food processor.  Allow rhubarb to cool.

Place rhubarb and strawberries into a large, heat proof bowl.  Rest bowl in an ice bath, and place a wire strainer on top of the bowl (this will get you all prepped for when your custard is done and you have no time!)

In a medium sauce pan, combine cream and half and half, and heat over medium low heat until bubbles just form around the edges.  Do not allow to boil.  Meanwhile, combine egg yolks, remaining honey, and salt in a large bowl and beat on high until yolks are pale yellow and double in size.  I recommend using a stand mixer for this, as you can do other things while the yolks are being beaten.  If you don't have a stand mixer, go buy one!  Or use a hand mixer.

Once eggs are whipped and milk is hot, slowly pour a small amount (1/4 to 1/2 a cup) of the hot milk mixture into the eggs, whisking constantly as you add it.  Then, slowly add the resulting egg/milk mixture back into the hot milk in the pan, again whisking constantly as you pour.  Cook this mixture over low heat, stirring constantly, until it just thickens enough to coat the back of your spoon.  Remove the custard immediately, and pour through the strainer into the bowl with the fruit in the ice bath.  Stir constantly until cooled.  Cover with a piece of plastic wrap placed directly on to the top of the custard and refrigerate for several hours, up to overnight.  The colder the custard is, the better it will freeze up.

Freeze the ice cream using your specific ice cream maker's directions.  At this point, I like to freeze the ice cream for another 24 hours before eating, because it's always so soft right after being made.

Ice cream is not hard.  I know it sounds like a lot of work, and for about 10 minutes it is, but mostly it's just waiting and not overcooking the custard.  Maybe I'll make a video on that, too.  Right after my omelet video...