Kate's Famous Green Pork Chili

I have a lot of pictures of fruits and vegetables chopped, or in pots, or in jars.  I could spend the next month or so giving the recipes of everything I canned, but it doesn't seem terribly worth while.  First off, it's mostly too late for you to use any of my recipes, since it's getting to be mostly fall outside, and everything that should be picked... should have been picked already.  Second off, everything is still in jars.  I don't know how any of it tastes, and I can't even guarantee the canning recipe worked.  I'd rather not give you something I'm unsure of.  So, I will provide those recipes as I cook meals with them, through the winter.  

• Corn Salsa
• Pickled Fennel
• Whole Tomatillos 
• Apple Chutney
• Spicy Zucchini Pickles
• Pickled Watermelon Rinds
• Tomato Sauce
• Zucchini Relish
• Pickled Beets
• Spaghetti Sauce
• Bruscetta Topping
• Green tomato Relish
• Pickled Green Tomatoes
• Italian Style Pickled Green Tomatoes
• Apple Pie filling
• Rhubarb Chutney
• Yellow Tomato Chutney
• Pickled Hot Peppers
• Apple Sauce

I counted, and I have in my basement 150 cans of food exactly.  Lets say that there is an acceptable amount of fresh food available again starting in June.  June is 32 weeks out.  That leaves me with approximately 4.7 cans of food to eat per week.  Hmm... that seems unlikely.

SO, if you actually know me, and you live in the greater Milwaukee Area, and any of the above list looks exciting to you, let me know and I will certainly share.  OR, I could keep it all to myself, stock piled away in the basement, in preparation for the Zombi Apocalypse.  One or the other.  I haven't decided yet.

Whole Tomatillos.  Never bought them before.  They're sticky
once peeled.

One thing I did not actually get enough of and will NOT be sharing, Zombie Apocalypse or no, is tomatillos.  I only have one use for tomatillos.  I could, in theory, find more uses I am sure.  But the one use I have is damn important.

My famous green pork chili.

Okay, maybe it's only famous with my co-workers, but that's famous enough for me.  If I ever had the opportunity to enter a chili contest, I would enter this recipe.  It is damn tasty.  As proven by the fact that I had none to take home after work, and therefore none to take a picture of.  But trust me, it's delicious.

And spicy.  Clears out the sinuses.  It is one of my favorite things that I make, and you will see it again because I have four more pints of tomatillos sitting in my basement.

Canned Tomatillos
(found in several internet locations)

Husk and wash tomatillos.  Don't skip the washing step.  They have a slimy coating that turns foamy like soap.  Place tomatillos into a pot large enough to hold them, and just barely cover them with cold water.  Bring to a boil, and simmer until tender - about 10 minutes.  Be careful on this step.  I let mine boil too hard and they broke apart.  It doesn't matter for what I will be using them for, but if I wanted whole tomatillos I would be cranky. 

Pour tomatillos and hot water into hot, sanitized jars, and add two tablespoons jarred lemon juice into each jar.  Seal, and process in a hot water bath for 30 minutes.

My Famous Green Pork Chili

• 4 lbs boneless pork shoulder, trimmed of excess fat and trimmed into 1 inch cubes(L)
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• Salt, black pepper, onion powder, and garlic powder
• 1 pint canned whole tomatillos (L)
• 1 large yellow onion, finely chopped (L)
• 1 head garlic, broken up and minced (L)
• 2-3 hot Portuguese peppers, thinly sliced (L*), or you could use Jalapenos, Habaneros, or your pepper of choice to taste
• 2 cups chicken broth (L)
• 3/4 lb firm ripe tomatoes, finely chopped (L*)
• 1/4 cup minced fresh oregano (L*)
• 2 tbsp ground cumin
• Sour cream

Place pork cubes into a large bowl and season generously with salt, pepper, garlic, and onion powder.  Heat olive oil in a large pan, add pork in batches and brown.  As the pork cubes brown, remove from the pan and place into a crock pot.

Once all the pork is browned, add onions to the pan, reduce heat to medium, and cook onions until tender, about 10 minutes.  In the last 3 minutes, add the garlic.  Transfer onions and garlic to the crock pot, and add in all remaining ingredients except oregano, cumin, and sour cream.

Allow to cook on low for 8 hours.  In the last 30 minutes, stir in oregano and cumin.  Serve topped with sour cream.

DELICIOUS!!!!

Man, too much of this got eaten at work.  I'm going to need to make it again for just me soon.


***Update!****

I forgot to add that, if this is too spicy, I will add honey to mellow it out a bit!

Someday I might learn a lesson, but it's doubtful...

I make the same mistake every year.  Twice a year, actually.  Gardening is fun.  Gardening is a stress reducer.  Gardening is my hobby.  Gardening is an excuse to be outside, not working, not doing chores, enjoying fresh air.

Gardening is certainly not exercise.

But I should still probably warm up first.   Maybe a nice stretch?

Add to that, this year, for the first time, about 15 hours over the next two days, standing in the kitchen, canning the contents of said garden.

It started like this:

It ended like this:

 

And I, walked away, with this:

That's not even all of it.  That's just Saturday's work. 

• Pickled green tomatoes (two kinds)
• Bruscetta topping
• Yellow tomato chutney
• Green tomato chutney
• Rhubarb mint chutney (with frozen rhubarb, to get it out of the fridge)
• Pickled peppers (not a full peck...)

There's more.  I could go up and check the shelves full of cans in the basement, but that would involve standing.  Which requires quads.  Which I no longer have.

So I will sit here and type. Ass on the couch.  Lap top on my lap.  Glass of wine in hand.  (The wine hinders my typing, but it's mostly worth it.)

I will save the story of my mass canning adventure for another day.  It almost didn't happen anyway.  Canning was my biggest experiment for this year.  It's been interesting, and fun.  To be honest, the experiment isn't really over yet.  Although I am officially done canning for the year, the experiment is really just beginning.  Will I eat all this food I spent hours canning?  Will it be good?  Did I even do it right, or do I have a mass of spoiled food waiting for me in the basement?  I'm excited to have the food in my basement, stocked away for the winter.  I even purchased a textbook on the history of preserving, and I'm hoping to learn more about how this crazy idea started in the first place. 

But it almost never happened. 

Most of the canning I have done has been on a very small scale.  Garnishes, pickles, relish, all stored in small jars.  An accompaniment to the meat and potatoes that will be sustaining me for the winter.

(Speaking of meat and potatoes!  I read in the news paper that I'm supposed to take a garbage can and bury it in the back yard to use as a root cellar - potatoes, turnips, beets, carrots, etc.  Sounds like a boy job.  Jeff?  You want to bury a garbage can in the back yard?!?)

Anywho - I've had one exception to the small jar canning.  Apple pie filling.  This seemed like a great idea in theory.  Apples, spices, and a little bit of sugar.  Put it in a jar.  Pies all year round!  The apples don't need to cook long, only about 5 minutes, and then they need to process for 25 minutes.  Seems like a good time.

Yeah, I forgot to take into account how long it takes to peel 20 lbs of apples.  Seriously.  Could someone buy me one of these for Christmas?  Really.  It's less than $30.  (Also, note that I linked to Sur La Table and not Williams-Sonoma.  My affair is getting pretty serious.)

So I started at about 8:00pm, after dance class.  I had my peeling done by 10:30.  Five minutes of cooking down the apples.  Of course, 25 pounds of apples don't fit into even my largest pot so I've got to cook them in batches.  I didn't take that into account either.  Okay, all the apples are cooked.  Now I have to try to keep them warm while I make the gooey part of the pie filling.  That gets mixed in with the apples.  Crap, wait.  How do I mix this with the apples, when all the apples don't fit in one bowl or pot or anything.  How am I going to keep my ratio of apples to gooey part intact?  Okay, split the cooked apples in half.  Half the apples fit in the biggest pot, but the other half doesn't fit in the second biggest pot.  Damnit.  Okay, half and quarter and another quarter.  Got it.  Pour in the gooey part.  Don't let it get cold; it's getting hard.  Keep moving.  Get them into their jars, and into the boiling water.

Of course, all the jars don't fit in my canning pot at once.  Two batches it is.  It's now midnight.

20 minutes in to processing the first batch and I realize, I didn't add the lemon juice.

Frack.

So I pull them all out.  I open them all up.  I throw away the lids.  I add the lemon juice.  Back into the boiling water.  Second batch in.  It's now 1:00am.  On a Monday.  I have to go to work tomorrow.

Here's the thing, though.  The second batch has been in for 15 minutes.  Which means the first batch has been out for 15 minutes.  And none of them have gone "plink."  Did I do something wrong?  They were in there long enough.  I put new lids on.  Adding the lemon juice shouldn't have changed anything. 

I'm freaking out.  I'm freaking out, and I just want to go to sleep.  I'm getting sloppy, and that's when it happens.  I'm pulling the second batch jars out of the boiling water.  I'm tired, I'm rushing, I'm tired.  And then... I drop one.  I could see it happen, in slow motion.  I could see it slip out of the tongs.  I bobbled it, a couple times, and then dropped it on my foot.

I shouted, I cursed, and the cat ran away.  I hobbled off, brushed my teeth, and went to bed.  None of the jars had sealed.  I was convinced that the whole wasted night was for nothing.  And I was fully prepared to never can again.

But, in the end, that was all that happened.  I burned the outside of my right foot just a little, but I rubbed it down with aloe and it was better in a week or so.  The jar didn't break, which means I wasn't barefoot, surrounded by hot sticky shards of glass that my dog wanted to eat.  And, when my husband woke me up at 6:00 the next morning to tell me that all of the jars had sealed, it felt a little bit like Christmas.

It got me thinking about the science of why canning works.  The jars hadn't sealed because I was using quarts, which were bigger than anything else I had used before.  Also, all of my previous canning experiments were mostly liquid - vinegar and water surrounding whatever I was pickling or preserving.  This one was packed tightly full of apples, which made it cool slower.  The jar needs to cool, so the contents shrink, creating the vacuum that seals the jar.  Actually, the whole experience is what made my buy the history of preserving book, so, if I learn something new, I guess it was worthwhile.  Anyway, I didn't give up on canning, and now I've got pies through the winter.

I haven't had time to make a pie yet, but I did open up a jar and everything seemed perfect.  The apples were soft, the gooey part gooey.  Overall, a success.  An exhausting, infuriating success, but a success none the less.  The title of this post is "Someday I might learn a lesson, but it's doubtful..." The lesson I originally intended was to stretch before gardening, but maybe there's another lesson here, too.  To read ahead in my directions.  To think about what I'm actually doing, and what tools I need, and how long it will take me.  To not over schedule myself and think I can fit in "big projects" on a Monday night after dance class - just because that's when Jeff has band practice.

These are good lessons.  Maybe I might learn them.

But it's doubtful...

Apple Pie Filling
(From The Art of Preserving)

Makes 7 one-quart jars.  One jar makes one pie

• 19 lbs apples (L)
• 7 tablespoons plus 1/2 cup bottled lemon juice
• 5 cups sugar
• 1 1/2 cup corn starch or Clearjel starch (I used corn starch, because I couldn't find the Clearjel not on the internet)
• 3 tbsp ground cinnamon
• 1 tbsp fresh ground nutmeg
• 1 tbs ground cloves
• 5 cups apple juice or apple cider (L)

Have ready hot, clean quart jars and their lids.

Bring a large pot of water to a boil.

Put 1/2 cup of the lemon juice in the biggest bowl or pot you have.  Or, if you're like me, you'll need to use two or more bowls, and spread the lemon juice out evenly between them.  Peel, core, and slice the apples, dropping the slices into the bowl and tossing with the lemon juice to keep them from browning.  Add the apples to the water and blanch for one minute.  Drain the slices, and keep warm as best as possible.

In a large, non reactive sauce pan, stir together the sugar, starch, spices, and apple juice.  add 2 1/2 cups water.  Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, stirring frequently.  Reduce the heat to medium low and simmer, stirring constantly, until slightly thickened - about 1 to 2 minutes.  Be careful, it thickens REALLY quickly.  It will be very thin, and then suddenly it will be so think you'll wonder if you should add more water.

Fold the apples into the sauce and stir until apples are re-warmed, if necessary.

Ladle the hot apple mixture into the jars, adding one tablespoon of lemon juice to each jar, leaving one inch of headspace.  Remove any air bubbles, and adjust the headspace if necessary.  Wipe the rims clean and seal tightly with the lids.

Process the jars for 25 minutes in a boiling water bath.  Sealed jars can be stored in a cool, dark place for up to one year.

I didn't get any pictures in process, as I was too busy flipping out...

Preserving Experiment #5

Beets.

Prior to this year, I had never eaten one in my life.

I do have a cousin who loves beets.  He talks about them a lot - almost inappropriately so - on Facebook.

They are scary looking.

They look like weird, brightly colored potatoes.  They are dirty.  I expected them to taste dirty.  Not entirely sure why I thought that would be a bad thing... after all I do love potatoes and mushrooms, and I prefer my red wine to taste a little bit like dirt.

They have probably become the favorite vegetable in our house - both the root and the greens.  It's kind of shocking.

Doing some quick research on the interwebs, I learned the following about beets.  Very little of this is from scholarly sources, and if I were grading this from one of my students, it would totally get an F:

Supposedly, the eating of beets can prevent or reverse the following ailments:

• Acidosis, which leads to acid reflux
• Cancer
• Anemia
• Athersclerosis, which is a hardening of the arteries
• Vericose ceins
• High blood pressure
• Constipation
• Liver Problems
• Kidney and gall bladder diseases
• Gout

My husband has acid reflux, and I have anemia (and all the women in my family have vericose veins).  Also my body apparently really enjoys getting kidney stones, so I'm pretty excited that I can magically cure these things just by eating beets!  Okay, I don't think it works quite that way, but never-the-less it's good to know that something I like is good for me.

I don't have kids, but I feel like beets would be a good thing to try to feed your kids - as long as they don't know what they are or get to see them ahead of time!  The fact that they are sweet and brightly colored makes me think you could trick a kid into thinking they're candy or something.  Another good thing about beets is that, after you cut them up, it looks like you killed someone in your kitchen - which is always fun.

Apparently the growing season for beets is June through October, so we're just about done.  I wouldn't want to be without this magical vegetable for a full winter, so I'm glad I got this done in time!  I also thought this was my prettiest canning batch yet, and it made me sad to put the finished jars down in the basement where visitors can't admire them.  Next house: display shelf for canning!

I haven't tried these yet, since all the jars closed properly and I still have fresh beets to eat.  I will report back as soon as I do!

Pickled Beets
From the Art of Preserving

• 1 pound beets (L)
• 1 white onion, sliced (L)
• 1 cup cider vinegar (5% acidity)
• 1/4 cup honey (L)
• 1 tbsp cardamom pods
• 1 tbsp whole cloves
• pinch of salt

Have ready hot, sterilized jars and their lids.

Put the beets (whole.  Leave a little bit of stem so all the skin is intact and covering all the beet.  This helps keep the nutrients in) into a large saucepan (if using different colored beets, put each color into their own sauce pan) and add water to cover by 2 inches.  Bring to a boil, reduce the heat to medium-low, cover partially and simmer until the beets are tender, 25-30 minutes.  Drain the beets, reserving 2 cups of the cooking liquid.

When the cooked beets are cool enough to handle, peel them (once the beets are cool, the skins slide right off - almost like the tomato skins, but not quite as easy)  and then cut into slices 1/4 inch thick.  Divide the beet slices and the onion slices among the jars.

In a saucepan over medium heat, combine the reserved cooking liquid, vinegar, honey, cardamom, cloves and salt.  Bring just to a boil, then ladle the hot mixture into the jars, evenly distributing the spices and leaving 1/2 inch of headspace.  Remove any air bubbles.  Wipe the rims clean and seal tightly with the lids.

Process the jars for 7 minutes in a boiling water bath.  Let the jars stand undisturbed for 24 hours, then set them aside for one week for the flavors to develop.

The jars can be stored in a cool dark place for up to 3 months (so I have to eat them all by Christmas!)

The recipe said this made 4 pints.  I only got two.  I ended up making three different batches, and stored them in half pint and 4 oz jelly jars.  I figure how many pickled beets do I really need at once?

I have to image that these beets would go great in this recipe.  I actually made this salad with fresh, grilled beets, but the pickled beets would go well too.  Cut out the tomatoes, and this could be a great winter salad when all I can get my hands on is greens.

Smoked Salmon and Beet Salad
(this recipe is for one salad)

• 1 or 2 large handfuls of mixed greens, washed (L)
• 1 tomato, quartered and cut into slices (optional) (L)
• 1 small or 1/2 large beet - steamed, grilled, boiled, or pickled, sliced into bite size pieces (L)
• 4 oz smoked salmon (L-ish.  Okay, this is smoked by Rushing Waters fishery, but not grown there)
• 1 oz goat cheese - I used a honey goat cheese (L)
• 2-3 tbsp Honey Basil Vinaigrette, or to taste 

Put greens in a bowl.  Top greens with other stuff.  Cheese can be crumbled or left in one chunk for presentation purposes as I did in the picture.

Honey Basil Vinaigrette (from this post, except modified to be basil instead of thyme!)
Makes about 1 cup

• 3 tbsp minced shallots (L)
• 1/4 cup champagne vinegar
• 1/2 cup raw honey (L)
• 2 tsp fresh basil (L*), minced
• 1 clove garlic (L), minced
• 3/4 cups extra virgin olive oil
• Salt and Pepper

Preserving Experiments 3 and 4

Okay, my two not quite normal preserving experiments were both, in my opinion, a big success.  Pickled watermelon rinds and zucchini relish may not be the most useful things to preserve for the winter, but they were both tasty which has increased my confidence.  And, almost all of the jars sealed properly (I missed one) which made me feel like this really is something I can do.  Also, hearing the jars close is fun, which is enough motivation for me!

Time to make something useful.  Also, I purchased a giant canning pot.  Time to make something in mass quantities.

To be fair, I'm not 100 percent happy with how either of these recipes turned out.  I started with the tomato-basil sauce, because I have a lot of basil and because it is out of my preserving book, so I trust it.  I'm always a little nervous pulling canning recipes off of the internet - because I'm never sure that the person writing the recipe knows what they're doing (pretty sure you should be concerned about that too... maybe you should wait until next year before trying any canning recipes off of this site.  I promise to report back if I get the Botch.)

Also, unfortunately, I do not have pictures of finished products.  I will be sure to get that as soon as I eat some spaghetti!!

I did not (shockingly) (<- Sarcasm) read the recipe well enough before starting to realize that this is not a spaghetti sauce.  The recipe says tomato sauce.  But for some reason, in my head, I read spaghetti sauce.  I like a chunky spaghetti sauce, and this is not.  This is, consistency wise, exactly what you would get if you purchased a can of tomato sauce from the store.   It tastes better than that, and is no doubt better for you, but not at all chunky.  I wouldn't change the recipe, necessarily, I just feel it's important to know what you're getting.  And I don't trust people to read a recipe because, well, I don't.

So, I after that I found a recipe for chunky tomato sauce on the internet.  Or, more specifically, I found about 10 recipes and combined them into one I liked.

My only regret on the spaghetti sauce is that it's too dry.  It could really stand to be mixed with a half pint of the tomato sauce.  SO, if you make both of these, put the tomato sauce into half pint jars.  I have a few half pints, but mostly I put it into pints which I think would give me too much when mixed with the spaghetti sauce.

Anyway, next time I think I won't remove the seeds and juice from the peeled tomatoes in the spaghetti sauce recipe.  It takes too long and I think the recipe needs the extra juice.  This was my first experience peeling tomatoes with the boiling water/ice water method.  I have seen method described on many a cooking website and cooking show, and have ignored it in countless numbers of recipes because it seems like WAY too much work, and I don't mind tomato peels in my food.  But, I wanted to do it here because the recipe called for it, and, as I've said many times, I am terrified of messing with canning recipes at the risk of making everyone I know sick.

I'm glad I did it.  It was SO easy.  Not at all the extensive project I imagined.

Take your tomato and cut a small "x" into the bottom.  It doesn't have to be neat, or perfect, you're just telling the skin where you want it to split.  It didn't seem to matter if I slipped and cut deeper into the tomato, either.

Get a large pot of water boiling, and place a bowl (or in my case I used another large pot) next to it, full of ice water.  A few at a time, drop the tomatoes into the boiling water, and allow to boil for 2 minutes.  Fish the tomatoes out, and transfer to the bowl of cold water.  Allow the tomatoes to sit in the ice water for a few minutes.

At this point, directions say that the peel will just slide off.  Yeah, right (I always thought).  No, really.  That is right.  My thought was sarcasm, but the reality is that they DO slide right off.  You can easily see where you sliced the bottom, because the skin has started to peel back, and if you hold it at the other end and squeeze gently, the tomato pops right out like a banana in a cartoon!  It's fun.  I'll do it again, mostly just because it's fun.  If you have kids, this would probably be a good job for them - as long as you don't mind some of the tomatoes rolling around naked on the floor.
 
I did not use my tomatoes for either of these recipes.  The cold weather has made my garden really slow down, so while it's full of tomatoes, they are all green and show no sign of ripening any time soon.  I did, however, buy a HUGE box of less than pretty tomatoes from the farmer's market for cheap.


Tomato-Basil Sauce
From The Art of Preserving 

Makes 6 pints.

There is no need to peel these tomatoes, as they are being pushed through a sieve.  Or if you're fancy use a food mill.  If you're extra fancy (and nice) you could buy me a food mill too!!

• 1 Tbsp Olive Oli
• 4 yellow onions, coarsely chopped (L)
• 6 cloves garlic, smashed (L)
• 10 lbs tomatoes, cut into chunks (L)
• 1/2 cup dry red wine
• 1/2 cup finely chopped basil (L*)
• 1/4 cup red wine vinegar (5% acidity or higher)
• 1 1/2 tsp salt
• 1/4 tsp pepper

Have ready hot, clean jars and their lids.

In a large nonreactive saucepan over medium heat, warm the oil.  Add the onions and cook, stirring occasionally, until translucent, 5-7 minutes.  Add the garlic and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes longer.

Add the tomatoes and the wine.  Raise the heat to high and bring to a boil.  Reduce the heat to medium and simmer, uncovered, stirring occasionally, until reduced by half.  (The book said this should take 1 hour.  It took me 3.5 hours.  So... be prepared for that!)

Pass the tomato mixture through a coarse-mesh sieve set over a clean, large nonreactive saucepan (or pass it through a food mill).  Bring to a boil over medium-high heat.  Reduce the heat to medium-low and simmer until the sauce reaches the desired consistency.  Stir in the basil, vinegar, salt, and pepper.  Tase the sauce and adjust the seasonings to taste.

Ladle the hot sauce into hot jars, leaving 1/4 inch of headspace.  Wipe the rims clean and seal tightly with the lids.  

Process the jars for 30 minutes in a boiling water bath.  Sealed jars can be stored in a cool, dark place for up to one year.  If a seal has filed, store the jar in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.

Chunky Spaghetti Sauce for Canning
Makes 12 pints.

• 15  lbs Red Tomatoes (L)
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 6 medium onions, chopped (about 6 cups) (L)
• 2 bulbs garlic, cloves smashed (L)
• 1/8 cup kosher salt 
• 5 cups green bell peppers chopped (L)
• 2 tbsp fresh parsley, chopped (L*)
• 2 tbsp fresh oregano, chopped (L*)
• 1 tbsp fresh basil, chopped (L*)
• 4 whole bay leafs
• 2 tsp fresh ground pepper
  

Have ready hot, clean jars and their lids.

Remove tomato skins through method described above.  If you want (I don't recommend it) remove the seeds and squeeze out some of the juice.  Chop the tomatoes coarsely.

In a large, non reactive pot, heat olive oil.  Add onions and saute over medium low heat for about 15 minutes, or until onions start to caramelize.  Add garlic and cook an additional 5 minutes.  Add remaining ingredients, stirring to combine, and turn heat up to medium high.  Bring mixture to a boil, then reduce heat to medium and continue to simmer for 1 hour.

Ladle scalding hot sauce into hot sterilized pint canning jars, clean rims of jars and seal according to manufacturer's instructions. Process jars for 35 minutes for quarts and pints in a boiling water bath.

Preserving Experiment #2

For the record, pickled watermelon rinds were a TREMENDOUS success.  Everyone I had try one thought they were surprisingly delicious.  Surprisingly.  No one expected to like them - myself included.  I know for a fact that I will be making them again, but adding something to make them red.  Watermelon anything should be red.  Or pink.  Or not amber.  My first thought was to use red wine vinegar, but now I'm considering just adding a few beet slices.  They dye my cutting board red.  They dye my hands red.  Why wouldn't they dye my watermelon rinds red?

Anyway, that is a story for another day.

Canning experiment #1 was a success.  On for canning experiment #2.  Something slightly more normal, but still not "normal."  I have no intent, I should clarify, to make pickles.  This is true for two reasons: 1. I have NEVER had a home made pickle that tasted as good as my favorite store bought pickles.  My favorite store bought pickles are, and always have been, MILWAUKEE'S Pickles.  So, if they're going to be local and delicious, why mess with a good thing?

This one was a recipe out of my "The Art of Preserving" book.  I bought this book about three years ago because it had pretty pictures, and because canning has always seemed kind of romantic to me.  I can't really define it.  I'm canning now because of this locavore challenge, but I've always wanted to anyway.  I know a lot of people who have canning memories, either with their mom or grandma, and I don't really have this.  I don't recall canning taking place when I was a child.  I have no memories of spending hours in the kitchen over bubbling pots of goodness.  I remember bread, and Christmas cookies,  and chicken stock, but not canning.

But there's something about being self sufficient that really appeals to me.  Maybe it's because I read the Laura Ingles Wilder books about 27 too many times when I was young.  Maybe it's because I'm a cheep ass.  But, when the world ends in 2012, or the grid collapses, or whatever, everybody's going to want me in their tribe!

This is a recipe that my friend Jeanette told me was one of her favorites.  I love pickle relish on a hot dog (because I love a Chicago style hotdog).  I had this on Andouille sausage.  The spicy sausage went exceptionally with the sweetness of the relish.  This was almost sweeter than the crazy, bright green, unnatural pickle relish that I love on a pickle at the ball game.  But, at the same time, it tastes more real.  I'm looking forward to this on a burger in the middle of January!



Pickled Zucchini Relish

• 2 lbs zucchini (L*)
• 1 large yellow or white onion (L), diced
• 1 red bell pepper (L), seeded and diced
• 2 tbsp salt
• 1 1/4 cups honey (L) or sugar
• 1 cup distilled white vinegar
• 1 tsp dill seeds (L*) or celery seeds
• 1/2 tsp ground turmeric
• 1/2 tsp freshly ground pepper

Cut the zucchini into thin matchsticks, about 2 inches in length.  Transfer to a large, nonreactive bowl.  Add the onion, bell pepper, and salt, and toss to combine.  Let stand at room temperature for at least 6 hours and up to one day.

Have ready hot, sterilized jars and their lids.

Drain the zucchini mixture in a large colander.  Rinse thoroughly and drain again.  Transfer to a large nonreactive saucepan and add the honey or sugar, vinegar, dill seeds, nutmeg, turmeric, pepper, and 1 cup water and stir to combine.  Bring to a boil over high heat, reduce the heat to medium-low, and simmer, stirring occasionally, until slightly thickened, 25-30 minutes.

Ladle the hot relish into the jars, leaving 1/4 inch of headspace.  Remove any air bubbles and adjust the headspace, if necessary.  Wipe the rims clean and seal tightly with the lids.

Process the jars for 10 minutes in a boiling-water bath.  Sealed jars can be stored in a cool, dark place for up to 1 year.  If a seal has failed, store the jar in the refrigerator for up to one month.